Just because she laughed and responded does not mean that she enjoyed it. I’ve politely laughed off more semi threatening advances than I can count, because when someone, some stranger, mind you, takes it upon themselves to make a rude advance on my body and personal space, I don’t know what else they’re capable of.
Would you catcall a woman if your mom was standing next to you? Why not? Is it because you know that it’s rude to yell at strangers? The next time you think a woman is hot, try an approach other than yelling at her as she walks by. Try and take a moment to think what it might be like for a woman who has not asked for your opinion and has no idea who you are to be put in that position. Check your privilege for one second, and remember that the vast majority of women a) don’t like being catcalled b) don’t enjoy walking alone or at night because of harassment and threats and c) are not going to respond positively to that kind of advance.
Is that really a difficult concept to grasp? You don’t have the rights to do whatever you want to whomever you want whenever you want, no matter what society tells you.
And just because she might not have cared doesn’t mean that every women is the same.
What did you expect her to do? Break down and cry? Run after you? Just because people don’t react negatively doesn’t mean what you did was okay. So she had a sense of humor about it. That doesn’t mean the next woman will.
I think that, as guys, we have no clue what this is like because women don’t catcall us. And while posing that hypothetical to a guy will get you a “heh heh, that would be awesome,” the reality is that if women suddenly became the more aggressive gender and all kinds of women (thin, fat, young, old, attractive, not attractive) started yelling all kinds of shit of varying degrees of creepiness, you probably wouldn’t be so enthusiastic.
It’s not that you’re a villain for doing it. It’s that you don’t yet appreciate why yelling “compliments” at people from your window is not only creepy and weird, but for some women, a real and present threat. Some people respond to creepy and weird with humor, others in ways you’ll never know and, if you did, would make you regret each and every time you’ve done it to a strange woman.
The world is not your buffet of desire. The woman you’re yelling at wasn’t hoping against home that some random drive-by dickwad would tell them they’re hot. You’re not the Robin Hood of self-esteem. You’re just a creep in a car yelling shit nobody wants to hear.
Get over yourself and start respecting an individual’s right to not be disturbed in public.
That doesn’t mean you can’t interact with strangers, but coming onto a strange woman in public who is not inviting you to come on to her creates a hostile environment, considering the risk of violence that women face every day.
Yes, I know, your intentions are good, but she doesn’t know you from Joe Stalker and she certainly doesn’t know your intentions. Understand that, respect that, and make the world better and safer for women, including those you know and love, or may someday love.
You’re not an asshole. You’re a privileged guy who might not be aware of the threats facing women today. Now you are and you have no excuse to continue doing what you are doing.
Trust me, you won’t regret giving up your “right” to shouting at strangers when you meet a woman who has been shouted at herself.
Shannon, a dude still working on his privilege
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